By Wil Turner Men’s Health, Relationship & Personal Growth Coach
Reclaiming Mental Health, Balance & Identity Through Intentional Living
Men are not broken. They are becoming.
“Self-care is to acknowledge what you mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually and socially need to thrive.”
-WiL Turner
Why Men Struggle With Self-Care
For many men, self-care has been misunderstood, minimized, or dismissed entirely. We were taught to push through pain, suppress emotion, prioritize productivity, and equate rest with weakness. Somewhere along the way, taking care of ourselves became something we promised to do “later”—after the work is done, after everyone else is okay, after we’ve proven our worth. But neglect and self abandonment is not strength. Disconnection is not discipline. And burnout is not a badge of honor.
Self-care is not about indulgence or selfishness. It is about maintenance, restoration, and alignment. It is how men stay mentally grounded, emotionally present, physically capable, and spiritually whole. In WiL Turner’s Becoming Whole framework, self-care is not optional—it is foundational.
🧠 Principle 1: Self Awareness – Knowing When You’re Running on Empty
Self-care begins with awareness. Many men don’t realize they are depleted until their bodies force them to stop—through exhaustion, irritability, illness, or emotional breakdowns or shutdown. Self Awareness caution you to slow down and honestly assess how you’re functioning, not just how you appear.
When you become aware of your stress patterns, emotional triggers, overstepped boundaries, disconnections, sleep habits, and coping mechanisms, you gain the power to intervene before burnout becomes breakdown. Awareness turns surviving into proactive intention.
🪞 Principle 2: Identity – Redefining What Self-Care Means for You
Self-care is not one-size-fits-all. For some men, it’s physical training. For others, spending time with family, close friends. It’s solitude, therapy, spiritual practice, or creative expression. The problem arises when men adopt versions of self-care that don’t align with who they actually are—or avoid it altogether because it doesn’t match outdated definitions of masculine adversely impacting every man’s life.
True self-care requires redefining manhood beyond toughness and sacrifice. It asks, Who am I when I am rested, nourished, and emotionally balanced? Identity-based self-care supports the man you are becoming, not the mask you’ve been wearing or the man you used to be.
❤️ Principle 3: Emotional Health – Giving Yourself Permission to Feel
Many men were never taught how to process emotions—only how to suppress them. Over time, unprocessed emotions turn into tension, resentment, anxiety, frustration, anger, or numbness. Emotional self-care is not about being overwhelmed by feelings; it is about acknowledging them without judgment, self sabotage, self betrayal or emotional abandonment.
This can look like self reflection, solitude, journaling, therapy, honest conversations, or simply naming what you feel instead of burying it. Emotional self-care strengthens resilience, improves relationships, and prevents emotional disparage that shows up as anger or withdrawal.
💪 Principle 4: Physical Health – Caring for the Body
Your body is not a machine—it is a messenger. Chronic fatigue, pain, weight gain, suppressed appetite, or low energy are often signals, not failures. Physical self-care means fueling your body properly, exercising or moving consistently, resting intentionally, and addressing health concerns early rather than avoiding them.
Exercise, nutrition, hydration, sleep, and recovery are not vanity—they are responsibility. A healthy body supports mental clarity, emotional stability, sexual health, virility, endurance, stamina, and longevity. Physical self-care allows you to show up fully for your life, rather than surviving from day to day.
🤝 Principle 5: Relationships – Setting Boundaries Without Guilt
One of the most overlooked aspects of self-care for men is relational health. Many men overextend themselves, people-please, or remain in emotionally draining unreciprocated relationships out of loyalty, obligation, or fear of conflict. Healthy self-care includes the ability to say no, to create boundaries, and to protect your mental, emotional and spiritual energy.
Boundaries are not walls; they are agreements that require and preserve mutual respect. When you take care of yourself relationally, you show up more present, less resentful, and more authentic in your connections.
🧘🏽 Principle 6:
Spiritual & Mental Alignment – Creating Space to Reset
Whether through faith, meditation, breathwork, nature, or stillness, spiritual and mental self-care creates space to reset your nervous system and reconnect with purpose. Men often stay busy to avoid stillness, yet stillness is where clarity lives. This principle reminds men that constant motion without reflection leads to disconnection, mental and emotional burnout. Alignment happens when your inner emotional dialogue matches your outer actions. Self-care creates alignment in every aspect of a man’s life.
🏗️ Principle 7: Growth – Investing in Your Healing Means Performing Less
Men are often encouraged to invest in taking care of others, careers, bodies, and status—but not healing. Growth-centered self-care means doing the inner work: addressing trauma, unlearning harmful patterns, and developing emotional intelligence and resilience.
This might involve coaching, therapy, men’s groups, reading, journaling, self exploration, intentional self-reflection. Growth is not about fixing yourself; it’s about expanding your capacity to live fully and lead consciously.
🧭 Principle 8: Legacy – Modeling Self-Care for the Next Generation
How you care for yourself teaches others how to treat you and themselves. Whether you are a father, partner, mentor, friend, or leader, your relationship with self-care sets an example.
Legacy-Based Self-Care Questions:
- What am I modeling through my habits, boundaries, and emotional health?
- In what ways can I pour into myself and others without guilt or regret?
A man who prioritizes his well-being gives others the opportunity to meet you where you’re at. Self-care is not just personal—it is generational.
Self-Care Is a Discipline, Not a Luxury
Self-care is not something you earn after exhaustion. It is not weakness, selfishness, or avoidance. It is the discipline of choosing yourself so you can show up whole, grounded, and aligned.
Becoming Whole means recognizing that your health—mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual—is the foundation of everything else. When men care for themselves intentionally, they don’t just survive—they lead, love, and live with purpose.
Call to Action:
If you’re ready to redefine self-care and reconnect with yourself at a deeper level, the Becoming Whole Workbook and Coaching Framework offers guided tools, reflection exercises, and practical strategies designed specifically for men navigating identity, health, relationships, and legacy.
👉 Start your journey toward wholeness today at livingwellwithwil.com
